he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
