i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
