I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
