we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was born a porn star she said
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
