Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
