you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
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my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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