i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize