And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
