Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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