I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
