that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
