It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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