Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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