THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
