I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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