last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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