I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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