Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
