i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
