...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
