youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sext me about skeletons
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
