She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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