This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
