we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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