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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.

  (1-731): View more from Tennessee

  ohh what kind?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together

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• (850): View more from Florida

  All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (425): View more from Washington

  please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea

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• (469): View more from Texas

  on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale

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• (805): View more from California

  Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.

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• (518): View more from New York

  ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?

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