Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?