Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.

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(312): View more from Illinois

My room smells like vodka and shame

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.

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(208): View more from Idaho

How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?

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(678): View more from Georgia

We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER

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(505): View more from New Mexico

i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.

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