But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
