Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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