i think my tv is drunk
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize