the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
