so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
