opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
