Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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