Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
