God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Four minutes until I can fart!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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