Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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