the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
