Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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