What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
