Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
