i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
