I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
