So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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