I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
