Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
