i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
