But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
