Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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