oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize