Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
