shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
