Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
