I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
