i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
