I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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