why didn't you poke me back
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
