I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
