So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
