just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
