she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
