giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
