Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
kristin has been a bad kristin
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
