I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am midnight drunk by noon
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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