looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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