Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
