Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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